You’re Engaged! Here Are the Real First 5 Steps to Start Planning Your Wedding
You’re engaged! Cue the happy tears, the FaceTimes, and the flood of “So when’s the wedding?” questions. Before you dive into color palettes and cake tastings, there are five foundational steps that will shape your entire planning journey. These aren’t the fluffy “start a Pinterest board” tips. These are the real decisions that make everything else smoother down the line.
Let’s get into it.
Step 1: Start With the Experience You Want Your Guests to Have
Before you even write your guest list, think about the type of experience you and your partner want to create. Do you imagine a lively destination weekend with welcome events? A formal evening affair where everyone’s dressed to the nines? A cozy brunch-style celebration with your inner circle?
Once you have that vision, write down everyone you’d want to share that experience with — not just the people you feel obligated to invite. You’ll narrow it down later, but this helps you get clear on your priorities from the beginning.
Step 2: Align on Your Non-Negotiables
Sit down with your partner and talk about what matters most. What are the top three things that must be part of your wedding — and where are you both flexible?
This will help guide every future decision. It also prevents future arguments about why a $16,000 floral install or weeklong celebration is suddenly on the table.
Step 3: Consider Your Lifestyle (and the Best Time of Year)
Weddings don’t exist in a vacuum. Think about your careers, personal schedules, and what makes sense for your life. Some examples:
In education? Avoid midterms, finals, and back-to-school season.
A professional athlete? Skip your active season.
An accountant? April is a no-go.
In marketing? Don’t plan during heavy campaign periods.
This is about protecting your peace and avoiding unnecessary stress during a time that should actually be fun.
Step 4: Get Real About Your Budget Sources
Everyone says “make a budget,” but no one really tells you how. Start by identifying where your money will actually come from:
How much have you saved so far?
How much are you willing (or able) to put on credit cards?
Have either of your families committed to covering specific expenses (like catering, attire, or the bar)?
Will your budget cover personal items like rings, outfits, hair/makeup, and travel — or just the core vendors like venue, food, photo/video, music, and florals?
You need to know your full financial picture before you start booking anything.
Step 5: Think About Your Capacity to Manage Everything
Wedding planning is a project and someone has to manage timelines, contracts, communications, logistics, and questions from vendors and guests.
Ask yourself: "Do I truly have the capacity to manage this with my current workload and lifestyle?"
If not, you’ll need to build in support. That might mean hiring a full-service wedding planner to manage everything from start to finish. If you don’t go that route, make sure you allocate at least $7,000 for a planner's professional management package where they come in during the final month and take things off your plate.
(Pro tip: venue coordinators are great, but they don’t replace a planner — they’re focused on their venue, not your entire wedding!)
You don’t have to figure everything out in one sitting, but these five steps will give you the clarity to move forward with confidence. You’ll be more prepared, more aligned, and better equipped to actually enjoy the planning process.
But what if you’re already overwhelmed just reading this? That’s your sign to bring in help early. You deserve to enjoy this season — not just survive it. Email us today: info@dunniweddings.com.